The third Love Language, according to Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, is Receiving Gifts, which is very timely to talk about since the holidays are coming up.
The important thing to remember here is that this love language isn’t about getting stuff. It’s about the thoughtfulness, the effort, and the love that’s behind the gift-giving. Just like the old adage, “It’s the thought that counts.” It’s actually true.
For people who speak this language, receiving gifts lets them know they are loved, cared for, and valued. It’s not about the money spent or the trouble you had to go through to get the gift and present it to him. It’s simply the fact that you made the effort; that you did it.
I’ll repeat one of those points because it’s so vital: It’s not about the expense of the gift. If you speak this love language – and more importantly, if your partner does – you must remember that the package of his favorite coffee that you picked up at the grocery store holds every bit as much significance as the Mercedes Benz you bought him for his birthday. Some people find that hard to believe, but for those who speak this love language it is second nature. It is who they are, and what they need – that demonstrable showing of caring and love.
I actually think that this is not a very difficult love language to speak. How do you do it? Here are a few suggestions:
– Pick up his favorite candy bar when you’re at Walgreen’s
– Send flowers to his office on a Tuesday, just because
– Pay attention when he talks about his favorite movies, songs, or books, and add those to the list of his holiday or birthday gifts [that listening thing again!]
– Feign a “bio-break” at a restaurant, and instead pull the server aside and give him/her your credit card to pick up the tab
– Email him an out-of-the-blue gift certificate to Amazon, Starbucks, or Macy’s
You get the idea. It’s really quite easy. If your man speaks this love language, give him what he needs. You will reap the rewards, I guarantee it!